#26. Sacrifices

Without realising it, baby Tiffany has already been inside me for 262days. Sometimes I wonder, am I a good mother? Will I be a good mother in future? Will I be able to give my baby the best? Will I be able to maintain my small family? Will my husband be there for us, and let us feel loved? Will Tiffany grow up hating me for bringing her to the world? As each day passes, I became more and more afraid. Sometimes I just hope she'll stay inside me.. but it is not possible.

At times I felt like I am a selfish mother. Baby Tiffany is coming out in a week or two, I should be saving money for her, for emergencies, but instead, what I really want deep down inside my heart is not to save but to buy myself a new phone. When hubbee told me to save the money, I was angry, I was so upset I threw my temper at him. I felt like my happiness came second, but isn't it like this? Motherhood is like this. I know I shouldn't be angry with anyone and I shouldn't let it affect my daily life but I just couldn't help it..

Now, I've thought it over. This is a mother's life and I should be prepared for it, to put my happiness the last. This is not the first time and it will never be the last. No point torturing myself like this. So..

Goodbye Satio, I'm not going to think of you anymore.
T.T