#35. Things will never be the same again

I was hesitating if I should publish this post. My mind is telling me, "Go on..just do it." but my heart keeps telling me "NO!". When SHE was writing her book, did she struggled like me too? I doubt so.



I guess everyone is very curious about MY side of the story. Many of you asked me personally, and you guys should know the answers I gave. I didn't want to talk about it not because I was guilty, not because I agreed with what she wrote and definitely not because it was the truth. I just felt I didn't owe anyone any explanation, not even to HER. And even now, I'm not going to explain further.. at least some people know the truth, at least the important ones know.



One of my ex and hubbee always ask me, "Why do you still treat her so well despite her treating you like this?" They always ask me why do I always have to give in to her, why when she throw her tantrum at home everyone will just keep quiet, why no one ever told her in the face that she was being unreasonable? For mummy & others, I don't know. For me, it was because I loved her. I treated her as my family. I didn't want to hurt her by saying nasty things.. but in the end, It was her who did this kind of thing to me without even telling me beforehand, without even bothering to check the truth, she just based on her own thinking and what she believed..



In her book, she mentioned "I could attest to every word written & published on this book which is true in every sense. And I can vouch for the authenticity of the story here simply because I AM that girl in the story". That is her, forever so selfish, forever only thinking about herself, always drowning in self pity thinking that the whole world owes her. She just wrote what she thought was the truth, without even thinking of the people who would be affected. I shouldn't be surprised because since young, she didn't really loved me as a sister, she only loved herself most.



There was one incident that was carved deeply in my heart. I could not describe how I feel.. When we were young, my father never lay hands on me and Kun, SHE was the only one who always get beaten by my father. And one day, she told him he was being unfair. When I was in Pri 3, I forged my father's signature because I failed my exam. My father asked her into the room and asked, "You said I was unfair, so now I ask you, do you want me to cane your sister?" and she replied yes. That was the first time my father caned me. It was so painful I cried so loud but no, she didn't save me. It was my mum. I couldn't believe how cruel someone can get just because she thought it was unfair for her. What? She feels happy seeing others suffer?

Ever since her book was published, I have not spoken a word to her because I felt deeply hurt. No one would be able to understand how it feels. I wasn't even given a chance to defend myself. When I thought I could finally put everything behind me and forget those painful memories, she made it worst.. and claimed it was to warn other girls out there? It is really a joke to me.

But whatever, this will be the last time I'm talking about her. I don't want to have anything to do with this author for the rest of my life. I do not need a sister like her and neither does Tiffany needs her too.

And just in case YOU are reading this, please, I do not want you to attend to any of Tiffany's celebration be it full month, birthdays, even if one day I die before you I also don't want to see you in my funeral. Mummy & kun may not have the heart to tell you this but let me tell you, My hatred for you will never ever go away, not even in 50 years time.